This is week three in my ten-week series on how to set and accomplish goals that are important to you, and this week’s tip follows the first two steps which are to up your well-being and set the “right” goals. Now we turn to step three, which is: Improve Your Willpower.

Here’s the short and long of this tip: without willpower, there is no point in even setting any goals, because the ability to say “no” to yourself when you are tempted to stray from your path is the muscle of all goal accomplishment.

What good is it to decide to exercise daily when the first twinge of fatigue keeps you in bed with the covers pulled over your head? What good is a budget when you crumble at the first sign of a sale or the QVC channel? Why go on a diet if you can’t refuse pastries at the first mid-morning coffee break you encounter?

The problem with self-regulation is that it is among the lowest of the twenty-four traits assessed in cross-cultural studies through the VIA Signature Strengths test, and that’s because exercising willpower isn’t easy. In fact, denying yourself something you’d like to have or do is downright uncomfortable, and therein lies the rub. That’s exactly what you must do if you want to attain mastery at anything, learn something new, or improve a bad situation, and most people simply can’t sit through this discomfort. The known life is easy because the behavior is familiar; the new life is hard because it requires fresh effort and concentration.

Roy Baumeister of Florida State University has studied self-regulation extensively, and he has found that we cannot pursue too many willpower goals at once because we only have so much available “willpower muscle” on a daily basis. So the research shows that it’s wise to select one willpower goal – dieting or budgeting – and put everything you have into making it happen. Australian research has found that after two months of sticking to one willpower goal, you will improve in all other areas that require self-regulation, too! Baumeister has also found that one of the best ways to restore willpower that has been used up throughout the day is to improve your mood by finding things to laugh about.

So be honest with yourself as you set off into New Year’s resolutions or any other goals. Set the right goals, but be prepared to be uncomfortable and to override the temptation to ease up on yourself as the going gets hard. If you do this, and have already upped your well-being and set the right goals, the rest of the way to success will be immensely easier.